Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Laying down to Pick Up
It occurs to me that there is only so much that I can carry. It is in human nature to carry all that we can. In fact I often carry too much. Too much to do, too many tasks, too many agendas, too many worries, too many… It is just how I seem to work. In the carrying of all of these things I am often not in the moment. I am focused on the tasks ahead. I remain often worried that I will leave something important behind.
So I can walk into worship with the same attitude. What can I take away from worship today? A new tidbit, a sweet morsel of truth, a moving experience with God, but the reality is I have trouble being in the moment. I am so loaded with stuff on my plate I cannot possibly carry one more thing. In fact I cannot even focus on the moment. So as I consider the question, “What did I get out of that service?” I hear a better question, “What can I lose in this service?” As I approach the foot of the cross I need to ask, what burden can I lay down, and what portion of my agenda needs to be abandoned. What grudge can I release? What pang of envy resides in the corner of my heart? What hurt can I lay down? What anger needs to be released? What insecurity drives my needs?
I finally approach the altar with a simple prayer. “O Lord, make in me a pure heart.” It hits me that I can not carry anything away from worship unless I am willing to lay something down first, because my arms are full. I am so loaded that I cannot carry one thing more. Full of all the wrong stuff and Jesus says to me “lay that stuff down here before me and I will take care of it. Be willing to leave empty and I will meet you on the road. I will meet you and you can live in the moment” Once I lay down these burdens I finally have clear eyes to see. I have an unburdened heart so that I can hear.
It reminds me of when Jesus is teaching the people and he tells them. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matt 11:28-30).
My own rest depends on my willingness to lay down my burdens before Christ. Christ is not an uninvited guest who will wrestle away from us our burdens. He actually reminds us of what is important. He touches us in the midst of our unknown brokenness and asks us “will you be healed?” So if we say, “Yes” and lay down our burdens, we become able to bear witness to the world. We leave worship unburdened and able to liven in the moment ready to be Christ to a hurting world.
So I can walk into worship with the same attitude. What can I take away from worship today? A new tidbit, a sweet morsel of truth, a moving experience with God, but the reality is I have trouble being in the moment. I am so loaded with stuff on my plate I cannot possibly carry one more thing. In fact I cannot even focus on the moment. So as I consider the question, “What did I get out of that service?” I hear a better question, “What can I lose in this service?” As I approach the foot of the cross I need to ask, what burden can I lay down, and what portion of my agenda needs to be abandoned. What grudge can I release? What pang of envy resides in the corner of my heart? What hurt can I lay down? What anger needs to be released? What insecurity drives my needs?
I finally approach the altar with a simple prayer. “O Lord, make in me a pure heart.” It hits me that I can not carry anything away from worship unless I am willing to lay something down first, because my arms are full. I am so loaded that I cannot carry one thing more. Full of all the wrong stuff and Jesus says to me “lay that stuff down here before me and I will take care of it. Be willing to leave empty and I will meet you on the road. I will meet you and you can live in the moment” Once I lay down these burdens I finally have clear eyes to see. I have an unburdened heart so that I can hear.
It reminds me of when Jesus is teaching the people and he tells them. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matt 11:28-30).
My own rest depends on my willingness to lay down my burdens before Christ. Christ is not an uninvited guest who will wrestle away from us our burdens. He actually reminds us of what is important. He touches us in the midst of our unknown brokenness and asks us “will you be healed?” So if we say, “Yes” and lay down our burdens, we become able to bear witness to the world. We leave worship unburdened and able to liven in the moment ready to be Christ to a hurting world.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Pride
How I want to be released from pride! There for a while I thought by grace I had been fully released from my pride. The kind of pride I am speaking of is a false pride that confines me to being miserable. Pride is the self-centered way of being that blinds me to what is happening around me. It creeps in and then I look around to find I have lost perspective of the grace poured out on me.
I have several friends who write BLOGs. Many of them write on theology. I was reading one this past week on Orthodoxy. That is, literally, right thinking or right teaching. (A quick Latin lesson: ortho being right and doxy being teaching, or thinking). My friend rightly points out the importance of right teaching. It is critical. Yet the danger lies in what Paul points to in 1Corintians 8:1. “Knowledge puff up but love builds up.” For the longest time I thought that this verse meant that love builds up the other person, but now I am not so sure. I believe that love builds us up every bit as much, if not more, than the person we love.
This brings me to the idea of orthopraxis. Ortho meaning right and praxis meaning practices, and this combines the idea of right practices or right behaviors. All this ortho talk makes me think of orthodontics—right teeth. Ha! But seriously, for me the focus is not just right knowledge but also right practices. Knowledge comes in the doing, and it is a deep knowledge.
Jesus knew the only way we would understand some things is through doing. “so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.” (John 13:4-5) Jesus then asked them; “do you understand what I have done for you? … I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.” Sometimes the only way we can know something is to practice it. We can only see the wisdom in the practice. Jesus gave his disciples an example. He washed their feet. He spoke in actions. I think he was giving his disciples a right practice.
Foot washing was a servant’s job, yet the maker of the universe washed his disciples’ feet. Then Jesus said “Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.” Pride has no place in the kingdom of Jesus. It blinds us. Chris Tomlin wrote a song that expresses what Pride will stop us from obtaining.
Caught in the half-light, I’m caught aloneWaking up to the sunrise and the radioFeels like I’m tied-up, what’s holding me?Just praying today will be the day I go freeI want to live like there’s no tomorrowI want to dance like no one’s aroundI want to sing like nobody’s listeningBefore I lay my body downI want to give like I have plentyI want to love like I’m not afraidI want to be the man I was meant to beI want to be the way I was madeMade in Your likeness, made with Your handsMade to discover who You are and who I amAll I’ve forgotten help me to findAll that You’ve promised let it be in my life
In becoming a servant I become a blessing and I receive the blessing. In knowing that, I can lay my pride down and walk away, without looking back.
Rev. Patrick Evans
I have several friends who write BLOGs. Many of them write on theology. I was reading one this past week on Orthodoxy. That is, literally, right thinking or right teaching. (A quick Latin lesson: ortho being right and doxy being teaching, or thinking). My friend rightly points out the importance of right teaching. It is critical. Yet the danger lies in what Paul points to in 1Corintians 8:1. “Knowledge puff up but love builds up.” For the longest time I thought that this verse meant that love builds up the other person, but now I am not so sure. I believe that love builds us up every bit as much, if not more, than the person we love.
This brings me to the idea of orthopraxis. Ortho meaning right and praxis meaning practices, and this combines the idea of right practices or right behaviors. All this ortho talk makes me think of orthodontics—right teeth. Ha! But seriously, for me the focus is not just right knowledge but also right practices. Knowledge comes in the doing, and it is a deep knowledge.
Jesus knew the only way we would understand some things is through doing. “so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.” (John 13:4-5) Jesus then asked them; “do you understand what I have done for you? … I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.” Sometimes the only way we can know something is to practice it. We can only see the wisdom in the practice. Jesus gave his disciples an example. He washed their feet. He spoke in actions. I think he was giving his disciples a right practice.
Foot washing was a servant’s job, yet the maker of the universe washed his disciples’ feet. Then Jesus said “Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.” Pride has no place in the kingdom of Jesus. It blinds us. Chris Tomlin wrote a song that expresses what Pride will stop us from obtaining.
Caught in the half-light, I’m caught aloneWaking up to the sunrise and the radioFeels like I’m tied-up, what’s holding me?Just praying today will be the day I go freeI want to live like there’s no tomorrowI want to dance like no one’s aroundI want to sing like nobody’s listeningBefore I lay my body downI want to give like I have plentyI want to love like I’m not afraidI want to be the man I was meant to beI want to be the way I was madeMade in Your likeness, made with Your handsMade to discover who You are and who I amAll I’ve forgotten help me to findAll that You’ve promised let it be in my life
In becoming a servant I become a blessing and I receive the blessing. In knowing that, I can lay my pride down and walk away, without looking back.
Rev. Patrick Evans
Friday, November 9, 2007
In the Presence of God
Every so often I go to a retirement community to lead a worship service. It is usually on Wednesday in the afternoon. This past week I prepared my lesson and presented it. I thought with success. Then one of the ladies asked her friend, “Did you hear the lesson today?” She responded, “No not really” and she smiled. I apologized for not having spoken louder, but I was thinking, I did speak loudly. She was close enough to me to hear so I was curious as to what the problem was. But, right after my apology she admitted that she is quite deaf. She went on to point out that she rarely heard anything. She kept on smiling then said something interesting. I just enjoy being able to attend worship, even if I cannot hear it.
It brought to mind a conservation I had the other day with a friend. We were discussing sermons. He said something interesting. He was trying to process that something happens in worship that is larger than just the sermon. He was having trouble expressing that something in addition to just the message in the sermon was imparted. As we discussed it I understood what he was talking about. It is the change that takes place in us. He expressed that even though we may not remember the points of the sermon we are somehow changed.
While in seminary I would often come away from worship and rate how well I thought it went. I would often judge the service as to how well I liked it. I would judge how well the sermon was done, or how well the music went. I came to realize that there were certain styles of worship I preferred. I often looked at worship from my own felt needs, and my own desires. I was judging worship from the perspective of had it “moved me”, or had it “spoken” to my intellect. Then one day it hit me I was viewing worship as a “spoiled child”. I wanted worship on my terms, not on God’s terms. I wanted worship to make me feel better, to give me good advise. I was not fully opening myself to God’s transforming work. I began to open myself to other forms of worship to which I had been closed and found God’s transforming grace at work.
This passage helped me. Phil. 2:13 “for it is God who is at work in you, enabling you both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” It is God who is at work in us. Over time as I have allowed God to work I have began to view worship not as a place for my own self indulgent whims, but as a place of transformation. In the posture of being willing to allow God to be God is where worship began to take on depth and richness.
It brought to mind a conservation I had the other day with a friend. We were discussing sermons. He said something interesting. He was trying to process that something happens in worship that is larger than just the sermon. He was having trouble expressing that something in addition to just the message in the sermon was imparted. As we discussed it I understood what he was talking about. It is the change that takes place in us. He expressed that even though we may not remember the points of the sermon we are somehow changed.
While in seminary I would often come away from worship and rate how well I thought it went. I would often judge the service as to how well I liked it. I would judge how well the sermon was done, or how well the music went. I came to realize that there were certain styles of worship I preferred. I often looked at worship from my own felt needs, and my own desires. I was judging worship from the perspective of had it “moved me”, or had it “spoken” to my intellect. Then one day it hit me I was viewing worship as a “spoiled child”. I wanted worship on my terms, not on God’s terms. I wanted worship to make me feel better, to give me good advise. I was not fully opening myself to God’s transforming work. I began to open myself to other forms of worship to which I had been closed and found God’s transforming grace at work.
This passage helped me. Phil. 2:13 “for it is God who is at work in you, enabling you both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” It is God who is at work in us. Over time as I have allowed God to work I have began to view worship not as a place for my own self indulgent whims, but as a place of transformation. In the posture of being willing to allow God to be God is where worship began to take on depth and richness.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Acting Christian?
I just laughed out loud from the question. “Have you had acting experience?” It was a sincere question but it made me laugh because I had always hated doing any type of acting. Anytime some type of acting was required I hated it. In seminary we were often called on to do small group stuff. In my mind the only thing worse than acting was role playing. I remember sales training in business and we would be required to do role playing. How can I say this—I hated it! On the top of my list of things to avoid were role playing and acting.
So here we were on a retreat and we had done several skits. Then this young man asks me this question about acting. It made me laugh for several reasons, one is it surprised me, but another thought ran through my mind. Why would someone think I had acting experience? Then a thought ran through my mind—as a pastor there is nothing worse I could become than an actor. In my Greek classes I learned we get the word hypocrite from the Greek word for actor. Hypocrisy is insincerity by virtue of pretending to have qualities or beliefs that you do not really have.
We had a seminary professor come to our church this weekend. His sermon was a simple one. “What is being a Christian all about?” His conclusion was this—being a Christian means being conformed to the likeness of Christ. That is, becoming like Christ. Later Sunday evening he continued the talk about becoming like Christ. In his talk he spoke about the false-self and the real-self. In many ways the talk was painful, but then it got worse. He began to speak about the false-religious-self. That is, the worse false-self is the one that takes up religion as a tool to manipulate our own surroundings.
I think that Saturday night live captured the false-religious-self with the “The Church Lady”, played by Dana Carvey. The Church Lady is an elderly woman named “Enid Strict”, who is the uptight, smug, and pious host of her own talk show, Church Chat. Enid is a spoof of “holier-than-thou” Christian churchgoers. Two of the catch phrases that are used in the sketches are; “Well, isn't that special,” and my favorite, “How convenient.” We all chuckle but the serious point of this language is that it says, “I am better than you.” In my religion I am better than others.
For me this is the very same attitude of “keeping up with the Jones,” all-be-it covered in church language. In fact in the church it is even worse. This attitude becomes something ugly. It is sin with a veneer. The veneer covers up a dead and dying soul. Jesus speaks to the religious leaders of his day and calls them “hypocrites and whitewashed tombs.” That is they look good on the outside but on the inside full of death and decay. So now, I am a religious leader and I must ask myself what would Jesus say to me?
I now must answer my friend’s question, “Do I have any acting experience?” Yes I do. I have had years of acting experience. Years of acting like a Christian but not allowing God to conform me into Christ’s likeness. I must answer “yes, I have had too much acting experience, too much of the wrong kind.” I have been acting like a Christian but not being a Christian. Yet I finally did let go. I finally let God have his way in my life. I finally quit acting as a Christian and let God transform me into a Christian. That process is never ending.
What is interesting is that in becoming Christ like I now do not mind being in a skit. Role playing no longer bothers me as much either. Strange isn’t it? God is setting me free from my false-self. I am now able to be myself. I think that is what prompted my friend’s question. My friend saw in me a freedom. A freedom purchased by Christ.
Rev. Patrick Evans
So here we were on a retreat and we had done several skits. Then this young man asks me this question about acting. It made me laugh for several reasons, one is it surprised me, but another thought ran through my mind. Why would someone think I had acting experience? Then a thought ran through my mind—as a pastor there is nothing worse I could become than an actor. In my Greek classes I learned we get the word hypocrite from the Greek word for actor. Hypocrisy is insincerity by virtue of pretending to have qualities or beliefs that you do not really have.
We had a seminary professor come to our church this weekend. His sermon was a simple one. “What is being a Christian all about?” His conclusion was this—being a Christian means being conformed to the likeness of Christ. That is, becoming like Christ. Later Sunday evening he continued the talk about becoming like Christ. In his talk he spoke about the false-self and the real-self. In many ways the talk was painful, but then it got worse. He began to speak about the false-religious-self. That is, the worse false-self is the one that takes up religion as a tool to manipulate our own surroundings.
I think that Saturday night live captured the false-religious-self with the “The Church Lady”, played by Dana Carvey. The Church Lady is an elderly woman named “Enid Strict”, who is the uptight, smug, and pious host of her own talk show, Church Chat. Enid is a spoof of “holier-than-thou” Christian churchgoers. Two of the catch phrases that are used in the sketches are; “Well, isn't that special,” and my favorite, “How convenient.” We all chuckle but the serious point of this language is that it says, “I am better than you.” In my religion I am better than others.
For me this is the very same attitude of “keeping up with the Jones,” all-be-it covered in church language. In fact in the church it is even worse. This attitude becomes something ugly. It is sin with a veneer. The veneer covers up a dead and dying soul. Jesus speaks to the religious leaders of his day and calls them “hypocrites and whitewashed tombs.” That is they look good on the outside but on the inside full of death and decay. So now, I am a religious leader and I must ask myself what would Jesus say to me?
I now must answer my friend’s question, “Do I have any acting experience?” Yes I do. I have had years of acting experience. Years of acting like a Christian but not allowing God to conform me into Christ’s likeness. I must answer “yes, I have had too much acting experience, too much of the wrong kind.” I have been acting like a Christian but not being a Christian. Yet I finally did let go. I finally let God have his way in my life. I finally quit acting as a Christian and let God transform me into a Christian. That process is never ending.
What is interesting is that in becoming Christ like I now do not mind being in a skit. Role playing no longer bothers me as much either. Strange isn’t it? God is setting me free from my false-self. I am now able to be myself. I think that is what prompted my friend’s question. My friend saw in me a freedom. A freedom purchased by Christ.
Rev. Patrick Evans
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
I just got to let it go
I just got to let it go
“I just got to let it go.” It was a phrase a man kept repeating as he walked forward during a forgiveness service. The look in his eyes told me that it was important to him. It somehow struck him as amazing. In this one event he realized why he was at this Kairos weekend. I was not sure what part amazed him, but as a pastor I assured him; “yes, you do need to let it go.” Each time he said the phrase the meaning seemed to change. It moved from being a question “I just got to let it go?” to a realization, “I just got to let it go.” to finally a statement “I just got to let it go!” Then the last time he said it looked as though a realization hit him. It was beyond his own power to forgive. To which I assured him, “Give it to God”.
The next morning Stephen said he really needed to talk with me. He had not slept all night, and I knew he really needed to talk. As we talked, he spoke of the wrong that had happened. A year before, his cell mate had attacked him in the middle of the night. Shortly after the incident, his cellmate had been moved to another part of the prison. Stephen said “I am a patient man, and I was waiting for my opportunity for some payback.” So for the past year Stephen had been working out, getting into shape and biding his time for revenge. Then the week before the Kairos weekend Stephen’s old cellmate was transferred right into the same tier as Stephen. The problem was that if Stephen got his revenge—right now—then he would not be able to attend Kairos and eat the great food we were offering, so he put it off and figured that on Monday his time would come.
As we talked, Stephen realized that he had placed a great deal of importance on gaining revenge. He had become defined by his desire for revenge. His life had become consumed by revenge. Stephen seemed stunned that God knew him so well. He was amazed that he had been placed at this moment at this place to learn about forgiveness. We spoke for quite some time when Stephen made a confession. Following the forgiveness service we had given the men an extra dozen cookies to give as a peace offering to anyone they desired. Steven did not have the courage to give this man his cookies. He considered sending the cookies through a friend, but he realized that would not be sufficient.
Stephen looked me in the eyes and said, “I must be the one to deliver the cookies and tell him that I forgive him.” I said, “You know that I can not tell you what you must do.” Yet I wanted to say “YES!” I could tell by the look in his eyes that he somehow knew that his road to freedom lay upon this path. His freedom from hate, and bitterness, and his freedom from his old life—it all was down this road. He knew the risk of following God. It was a path he had never chosen to walk, until now. Paul wrote in Philippians 3:7-8 “ But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ.”
Stephen’s entire way of living was being challenged by God. His view of the world was being transformed. God was asking Stephen to let go of the most precious thing in his life. Revenge had become his reason for living. But now God’s love had replaced that reason and filled him with a more powerful passion. What is amazing is that what God asked for Stephen to give up was poison. Yet in the forgiveness of his cellmate Stephen provides a witness to the world of Christ’s redeeming love.
Rev. Patrick Evans
“I just got to let it go.” It was a phrase a man kept repeating as he walked forward during a forgiveness service. The look in his eyes told me that it was important to him. It somehow struck him as amazing. In this one event he realized why he was at this Kairos weekend. I was not sure what part amazed him, but as a pastor I assured him; “yes, you do need to let it go.” Each time he said the phrase the meaning seemed to change. It moved from being a question “I just got to let it go?” to a realization, “I just got to let it go.” to finally a statement “I just got to let it go!” Then the last time he said it looked as though a realization hit him. It was beyond his own power to forgive. To which I assured him, “Give it to God”.
The next morning Stephen said he really needed to talk with me. He had not slept all night, and I knew he really needed to talk. As we talked, he spoke of the wrong that had happened. A year before, his cell mate had attacked him in the middle of the night. Shortly after the incident, his cellmate had been moved to another part of the prison. Stephen said “I am a patient man, and I was waiting for my opportunity for some payback.” So for the past year Stephen had been working out, getting into shape and biding his time for revenge. Then the week before the Kairos weekend Stephen’s old cellmate was transferred right into the same tier as Stephen. The problem was that if Stephen got his revenge—right now—then he would not be able to attend Kairos and eat the great food we were offering, so he put it off and figured that on Monday his time would come.
As we talked, Stephen realized that he had placed a great deal of importance on gaining revenge. He had become defined by his desire for revenge. His life had become consumed by revenge. Stephen seemed stunned that God knew him so well. He was amazed that he had been placed at this moment at this place to learn about forgiveness. We spoke for quite some time when Stephen made a confession. Following the forgiveness service we had given the men an extra dozen cookies to give as a peace offering to anyone they desired. Steven did not have the courage to give this man his cookies. He considered sending the cookies through a friend, but he realized that would not be sufficient.
Stephen looked me in the eyes and said, “I must be the one to deliver the cookies and tell him that I forgive him.” I said, “You know that I can not tell you what you must do.” Yet I wanted to say “YES!” I could tell by the look in his eyes that he somehow knew that his road to freedom lay upon this path. His freedom from hate, and bitterness, and his freedom from his old life—it all was down this road. He knew the risk of following God. It was a path he had never chosen to walk, until now. Paul wrote in Philippians 3:7-8 “ But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ.”
Stephen’s entire way of living was being challenged by God. His view of the world was being transformed. God was asking Stephen to let go of the most precious thing in his life. Revenge had become his reason for living. But now God’s love had replaced that reason and filled him with a more powerful passion. What is amazing is that what God asked for Stephen to give up was poison. Yet in the forgiveness of his cellmate Stephen provides a witness to the world of Christ’s redeeming love.
Rev. Patrick Evans
Monday, October 22, 2007
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